Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i came on her dog
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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