I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize