I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
