We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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