I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
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not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
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We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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