just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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