He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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