Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
