We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize