just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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