i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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