This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
