Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
