bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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