This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
