I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize