i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
