Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
