Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
