Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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