I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
