He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
