exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
