i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize