Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
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You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
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If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize