He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I intend to get homeless drunk
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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