Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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