Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i think my mom watched the whole time
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
