My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
