I can tuck mytits in my pants
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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