He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
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No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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