Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
