the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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