I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
