last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
