she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
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You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
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We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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