I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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