u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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