woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
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we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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