You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
