you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
