Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
