I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
