Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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