I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
