I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
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he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
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i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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