I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize