Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
