youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
