It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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