Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
