I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
