New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
