would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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