we made out on top of his cat.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
