so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
