i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We left the knife in your bed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
