between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
