Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize