He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize