i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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