and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
