not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
PANTIES FOUND
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