in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
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You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
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You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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