idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
it was like having sex with a tree stump
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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