No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
