you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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