I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
