When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
