he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
a search helicopter?!
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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