oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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