Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize