I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
